and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
