Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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