I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Randomize
