I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
