question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize