well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
