i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
