TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize