I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
