You smell like a Billy Joel song
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize