I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
