I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
