So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
