I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
