i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
40s are totally the cure
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
