she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize