You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
