I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
