I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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