Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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