i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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