Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
