drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
