there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
