can u get pink eye on your cock?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize