Walk of Shame. In a state park.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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