I just pynch a tree in the face
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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