Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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