I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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