I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
