you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The air was thick with penises
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
