i permit you to call me
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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