So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
