nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
