get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
