Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
