Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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