Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
