It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
