I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize