Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
