i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
