I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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