Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
