she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
