will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize