chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We left the knife in your bed.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
