When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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