I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize