I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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