sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
