This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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