You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
