He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
