Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
