O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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