hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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