i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
