Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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