I wish I could punch you in the face.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
