So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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