Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
