I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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