"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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