My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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