he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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