Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
