At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Rumble strips road head = magical
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
So much Jack, so little girl.
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