Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
