Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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