Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
