I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You made out with two different species that night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
