Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
