My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
