Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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