Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
