So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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