He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
